candles are bad

by brisss (pronounced brie)

 

some people say, “brisss , why dont u like candles.”

i used to.

then i watched one disappear.

it was about this tall.

then it wasnt.

i checked the table.

it wasnt there.

interesting.

people say, “brisss , the candle burned.”

i know.

thats not what i asked.

where did it go.

people tell me, "brisss , it turned into gas."

okay.

then where is the gas.

they say, "brisss , its in the room."

interesting.

im also in the room.

i breathe air.

so now im breathing candle.

people tell me, “brisss , thats not how it works.”

then where did the candle go.

Exactly.

wax doesnt stop being wax.

first it melts.

then i breathe it.

my head isnt hot enough to keep it gas forever.

so eventually…

wax.

i dont know why people are surprised by this.

people ask me, “brisss , then why isnt everybody full of wax.”

they are.

ur body has been trying to get rid of it this whole time.

thats why u have ear wax.

thats why u have nose wax.

its pushing the candle back out.

but it cant get all of it.

every candle leaves a little behind.

every birthday.

every christmas.

every pumpkin spice season.

it adds up.

ur body keeps trying.

but it cant win forever.

eventually theres enough wax to slowly crush ur brain.

people forget little things first.

then bigger things.

people say, "brisss , its aging."

i call it candle brain.

thats why i keep asking everybody to stop burning candles.

nobody listens.

so now i lock my door.

i hope this clears things up.