the air scam

by brisss (pronounced brie)

some people say, "brisss what holds a car up?"

the wheels.

then they tell me , "brisss, the wheels are full of air."

no they are not.

if air could hold up a car, people would be tying balloons to their hondas.

interesting.

air is nothing.

thats why its called air.

if u fill a bag with air, it weighs a bag.

if u fill a tire with air, suddenly everybody acts like it became stronger than concrete.

no.

people say, "brisss , the tire really is full of air."

okay.

then explain this.

when a tire goes flat, everybody says, "brisss, put more air in it."

why?

theres literally all of the air outside.

open the little valve.

done.

now the tire has access to all the air.

if air was really what held it up, opening the valve should let even more air in.

theres literally an entire atmosphere sitting right there waiting to help.

instead…

pssssssssssss…

the tire goes flat.

Exactly.

that means something is escaping.

probably the thing that was actually holding the tire up.

nobody will tell me what that thing is.

they just keep saying, “brisss, its pressure.”

pressure is not a thing.

pressure is just air trying harder.

people love changing the subject when they know theyre wrong.

one time somebody told me, "brisss, tomatoes are fruits."

okay.

then why are they in salads?

nobody answered.

they just started talking about science.

another person told me, "brisss, pluto isnt a planet anymore.

how.

did somebody move it?

Exactly.

i even tested this.

i watched somebody put air in a tire.

then they took the hose off.

then they closed the valve.

why?

if the tire needs air, why would u lock the air out?

that is the opposite of helping.

imagine watering a plant, then putting a lid over the dirt so no more water can get in.

makes no sense.

then they tell me the valve keeps the air inside.

why?

theres air on both sides.

thats like locking ur front door because ur afraid the living room is going to escape.

then people tell me, "brisss, its compressed air.”

that is just air standing closer together.

it is still air.

people act like if enough air hugs itself it suddenly becomes stronger than a forklift.

no.

i have never seen one strong air.

not one.

i think there is something else inside tires.

maybe springs.

maybe foam.

maybe tiny invisible mechanics.

maybe little rubber goblins pushing outward with their feet.

i dont know.

what i do know is that opening the valve should not make a tire go flat if air is everywhere.

thats just common sense.

i hope this clears things up.