why cereal is a drink

by brisss (pronounced brie)

people always tell me, “brisss, cereal should be eaten with a spoon.”

that is inefficient.

cereal is already in milk.

milk is a drink.

therefore cereal is a drink.

people keep saying, “brisss, that doesnt make sense.”

it makes perfect sense.

you tilt the bowl and drink it.

no spoon required.

no mess on the table.

no soggy cereal at the bottom because u forgot about it.

some people say, “brisss, what about the big pieces?”

that is what the bigger sips are for.

the bowl is basically a cereal cup.

we have been using it wrong this entire time.

i have been drinking my cereal for months.

my shirts are cleaner.

my mornings are faster.

people still look at me strangely when i do it in public.

that is their problem.

the cereal is happy.

the milk is happy.

i am happy.

i hope this clears things up.