why vampires need to be eradicated

by brisss (pronounced brie)

they only come out at night.

suspicious.

they can turn into bats whenever they want.

thats avoiding accountability.

they dont eat snacks.

they think theyre better than everyone because theyre immortal.

congratulations.

so is mold.

too many capes.

they keep living in castles.

get an apartment.

every vampire ive met has an attitude problem.

they bite people instead of using their words.

they never carry candy.

if theyre so powerful, why are they afraid of garlic bread?

they sleep in coffins.

thats quitter behavior.

have u ever seen a vampire buy groceries?

no.

where are they getting their food?

they keep hiring wolves.

thats nepotism.

they say “good evening” too much.

i dont trust anyone who owns that many candles.

they are probably friends with pickles.

nobody has ever proven to me that a vampire has a favorite cup.

they know what they did.

they are dramatically overreacting to sunlight.

Exactly.

i hope this clears things up.